July 21, 2019
What is transformation?
An act, process, or instanced of transforming or being transformed. To change in composition and structure. A transformation is an extreme radical change.
SYNONYMS for TRANSFORMATION
Alchemize, convert, make over, metamorphose, transfigure, transmute, transpose, transubstantiate.
There are 7 steps to Transform your life, as described by Project Life Mastery 2018 http://Projectlifemastery.com.
Each week through the month of July, we will review and discuss a couple of these concepts. This week we review Steps 5 and 6
Step 5 – Be Consistent The only guaranteed way to transform your life is to be consistent. You could have the best tools in the world for changing your life; but if you don't stick with the process, the change won't last. Consistency is the difference between failure and success. Whatever you are striving towards, a lack of consistency will stop your progress altogether.
The reason why so many people struggle to be consistent is that they become overly obsessed with the outcome and forget about the process. I'm not saying that the outcome isn't important, but if you don't have concrete processes in place in order to guide you, you won't be able to accomplish the outcomes that you desire.
In order to be consistent, you need to have consistent action and consistent results. If you take action and get a result, that's great. But it won't stick unless you are consistent with it. Transformation isn't a one-time experience. Rather, it's a lifelong process. You need to learn how to fall in love with the journey towards becoming more.
The journey to success isn't a straight line. There were will be highs and lows. Prepare to fail because it's a part of the process of growth. In his book, The Dip, Seth Godin says that anything worth pursuing will have a messy middle. Make a plan of what you are going to do when adversity strikes. Doing so will help you navigate your way through difficult times, and will allow you to know how to transform your life on a deeper level.
Step 6 – Change Your IdentityYour life is defined by your beliefs about who you are. If you want to transform your life, you need to change your identity. Breaking out of an old identity often means breaking away from old conditioned belief systems where your original identity was formed. Our inner critic feeds on negative self-concepts, which further inhibits our ability to challenge that self-concept and take action to transform our lives.
“Change is inevitable, but transformation is by conscious choice.” Heather Ash Amara
“You will begin to heal when you let go of past hurts. Forgive those who have wronged you and learn to forgive yourself for your mistakes.” Anonymous
“Beautiful are those whose brokenness gives birth to transformation and wisdom.”
John Mark Green
“Everything you seek is inside of you.” Joey Klein
Excerpts from Benjamin Hardy, PHD
There are two types of relationships:
Transactional relationships are economic and functional. They’re based on exchange of money, goods, or services. They serve a very clear point. And when that point no longer makes sense or has been fulfilled, the relationship ends.
Transactional relationships are important. They’re how you got the groceries in your fridge, the place you live, the clothes you wear, and most of the things you enjoy in your life.
However, when it comes to creating the deepest and most important connections, transactional mentalities won’t work. The problem is, most people are transactional in their relationships. By very nature, transactional relationships are about getting the most you possibly can in exchange for as little as possible on your part. They’re all about you, and what you can get. Not about what you can give.
And all though it seems brutally obvious — this isn’t how you develop powerful relationships with anyone. Let alone relationships with key collaborators or mentors who can take you to “the next level” and help you grow 100X or more.
Transformational relationships, on the hand, can start out as transactions. But they go far far beyond the exchange of money, goods, or services. By very nature, transformational relationships are about giving the most you possibly can in attempts of helping others. They’re about advancing other people’s goals in a synergistic and win-win way — because clearly, you could do far more together than alone- Per Helen Keller. But transformational relationships go much, much further than that.
Your relationship isn’t transformational if it doesn’t change you. If you’re not getting better. And if there aren’t generous gifts given without compulsion. Your relationship isn’t transformational if it’s primarily about you. Your relationship isn’t transformational if you’re not creating a bigger pie — both for the relationship and all involved. But beyond that, your relationship isn’t trasnformational if you aren’t making the world a better place. Your relationships aren’t trasnformational if you don’t truly love the people you’re with. If you aren’t genuine. If you’re not thoughtful.
Relationships are the key to life.
Failures and mistakes are one of the fastest ways to determine if a relationship is transactional or transformational. If transactional — there isn’t much room for conflict, messiness, mistakes, etc. because the relationship doesn’t have a foundation of loyalty, trust, and protection. Communication is held back.
In transactional relationships, there are always constant reminders of what’s been sacrificed for this relationship. There are reminders about all the missteps the other person has made.
Nothing is simply given just because. Every “gift” is remembered and there’s an expectation of quick reciprocity or else.
When people feel protected, they’re willing to share what’s on their mind. They’re willing to fail. Because they know that the other people in the relationship has their back.
When a person doesn’t feel protected in a relationship, they don’t speak up. They don’t share what’s on their mind. They don’t take risks. Instead, they pander to the relationship. They don’t act in their power. They act as a victim.
Transactional relationships won’t protect you. If you don’t show up how you’re supposed to show up, you’re not protected. Instead, you’re rejected.
In transformational relationships, you have lots of protection.
Who do you protect?
Whose protecting you?
Do you feel safe being yourself? Or, are your relationships on a thin sheet of ice? And if you make a wrong move, a huge crack will shatter your foundation and you’re going down?
According to Eaton, feeling protected is the key to doing invaluable work. Because you can’t do your best work without the love, help, and support of others.
Similarly, you become invaluable in your relationships when others feel protected by you. When they feel they can be honest. Where they know you’ll be there for them to pick them up if they fail. That level of trust allows them to go big in their lives. What a gift you’ve given them. What a gift they’ve given you.
How many of your relationships are transformational?
How transformed are you by those relationships?